Desolation
by Seikina25
Summary: When it's time to tell you if it is too late or not...


_**Heya ^^" so uhm...I am so sorry for not posting the chapters for the other fanfics I have. This is a random idea I have when I procrastinated an hour ago. Feels train anyone? ^^"**_

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"I am not going to accept this Arthur! There is no way that I am allowing this!"

Arthur stared at the face of his love; the very person that he had promised forever; those blue eyes that were begging him and that expression that shows that he is hurt from what he had said. He doesn't want to see it but he had to. It made him want to back down from all of these but he can't. No. He made a promise to himself and to someone. He just had to strengthen his will.

"I am serious Alfred. I do not want this anymore. I don't want to be with you any-"

"I just said I am not allowing this Arthur!" Alfred shouted, standing up to his seat. They are at the living room and Arthur has all of his things inside his luggage bag. He had told Alfred that he wants to leave once and for all. He doesn't want to accept that Arthur will just be up and leaving him now. "Why? Didn't we make a promise? Didn't you love me? Tell me Arthur! Maybe, maybe there's somethin' wrong about me? Tell me!"

"There is none Alfred!" Arthur began to stand too. He averts his eyes and mustered up his courage. "You didn't have to change anything. You were perfect! But I have made a decision and that is to-"

"Leave me?" The American cuts him off. "Look at me, Arthur. Tell me the reason why Arthur. I want to know. I need to know. There is no way I am letting you go now."

Arthur closed his eyes. He has to do this. There is no more option. There is no more way. He has already tried everything in his power. The light breeze went passed them. He opened his eyes again. His expression is now stoned. Even if he loved him and he still do, he has already made his decision. And that is to leave once and for all. It will hurt, he knows. It will hurt for both of them but one of them has to be strong, and clearly, he has to.

"I am sorry. I know I promised forever but promises are meant to be broken..."

"Tell me…" Alfred says, tone close to crying. "Did you ever love me back? Did you even remember those happiest moments of our lives? Did you even think that I am someone important to you…even once in your life?" He asks.

Arthur paused. His back was already turned away from Alfred, eyes welling with tears. If it weren't for the fact that he is doing this for Alfred himself, he will not go through this. His mind goes back in those moments, the days were they were in their happiest; the moment where he is as free as he can be; those time that he is not worrying about anything because he is with his love. The promise that they made for each other… He gulped, swallowing the lump from his throat. It is better to learn the false, bitter lies if that is what will make Alfred let him go for his own good.

"No, Alfred. I don't care about everything that happened between us, nor are you anyone important in my life." Arthur paused and let out a big sigh. "And I never loved you. Ever. Goodbye, Alfred."

And with that said, the brit left, pulling his luggage bag with him. He never looked back. He has to have his resolve and his composure in check. Who was he kidding? There is no way that he will not cry. It took a lot in him to say those hurtful words. He didn't want to take away the happiness that person will give Alfred. He is not selfish and he wants Alfred to understand that someday. Tears silently fall from his eyes. Even if he said that it is for Alfred, he is hurt. If years passed by and their love for each other stays, it is meant to be. If not…

Arthur is more than willing to accept that fact.

He left and with tears streaming freely from his eyes down his cheeks, a last thought entered his mind.

'I had to Alfred. I hope you will understand my reasoning…when the time comes and if this love will last.'

*****[~]*****

'You look so happy now.' Arthur thought, looking at the man that his love is now married with. He has been invited in this marriage. He is back and this is the situation that he will be in? He has no choice though and so, he had to go, even if he knows that he will get hurt if he went. And here he is. He has just witnessed their love for each other.

Arthur also saw the way Matthew, as Alfred had told all about him excitedly over the phone, looks at Alfred. The love is oozing from his eyes. He also noticed that when Matthew laughed, Alfred is looking at him the way that Arthur's heart and mind remembers. He smiled bitterly. 'If only you can see that look Alfred has directed at you.' He thought.

He bit his lip. Then, he forced himself to smile when he saw him approach him at that reception. He offered his hand and stared at Matthew, the person he had just married. He nodded at him and shook his hand at both of them. "Congratulations on your marriage, Alfred, Matthew. And I am sorry for the past Alfred. I hope you already forgave me." He is crazy for bringing that up but he doesn't care. He has to make sure that he is okay and Alfred is too.

Matthew smiled kindly at him while Alfred stared at his husband, a fond smile that Arthur knew all too much. It made his heart break into pieces. Matthew seemed all right. Does that mean that he knew it already? He does not ask and just kept quiet, waiting for the American's response. Alfred looks disinterested at the last statement he said but what can he do? There love was not meant to be. This moment is too late. He is too late. That look that the newly wed in their eyes made Arthur make that conclusion.

"Thank you, man." Alfred replied, wrapping an arm around Matthew's shoulder. "I really appreciate you coming. The past," The American paused and nodded at him. "It's nothing, Artie! We are cool!" He pats Arthur's head, a motion that Arthur was shocked for. "We'll see you around, Artie! Me and Mattie are gonna go 'round to greet everyone!"

They left his side. Arthur watched their backs that began to walk away from him. This is it. Their love for each other has come at the end. Alfred is married and Arthur is here and trying to go back again but is too late. He shook his head at his helplessness. There is no hope anymore. He covered his mouth and stared at the ground. He can hear the shattered pieces of his heart being divided into more pieces but he cannot cry. His eyes didn't even well up with tears.

He looks up again. When he saw the back of his love, his mind went back to those times when he was in the place of Matthew; those times where there is only Alfred and he; those moments when he is being an idiot and they will always fight and make up with the silliest of things. He has always been at the American's side every single time. His attention is only poured to the brit. But now, that attention is not directed to him anymore. That look that was reserved to him before, it is now Matthew's possession. His mind and sight returns to the present. The figures of the two slowly, but surely, disappeared from his vision that made a broken smile surfaced on his face. He decided to leave. There is nothing to do here, after all.

With one final look to his love, he turned his back again at him and left, not without a last thought in mind…

'I loved you, and I always will do…even if you have someone else there in your heart that is not me.'


End file.
